“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway
My mom always said I was too “trusting”.
When I was younger, in my early teens there about, besides raging hormones and anger issues (yeah we all had those moments) one of my mom’s biggest concerns with me was that she thought I had an affinity to trust people too easily. Naturally, like any rebellious teenager who felt like “no one understands me”, I completely disagreed. As far as I was concerned she had trust issues and was far too cynical. So, I refused to hear any of it.
I considered myself someone who had a compassionate heart and chose rather to acknowledge the good in everyone, giving every one the benefit of the doubt. I thought that everyone had good in them and that most people were either just misunderstood of stigmatized for one reason or another. I wanted to be everyone’s confidante and friend.
As the years went by though, human nature started to show its true colours and life slowly started to lose its element of surprise, I had been awoken and sometimes I prayed I’d stayed asleep. You know that meme where a pictures shows the years of a baby as it transitions to a human and above it is a big heart that gradually gets smaller as this person gets older and the caption would read something like, “this is what life does to you”? No? Well then, please direct your attention to the image below *inserts satisfied smirk emoji*.
The first time I saw this I was about 16 and finally started to understand what my mom was saying.
It has always been my belief that a compassionate heart is a gift from God and I always felt blessed enough to have been given this God-given gift. However, in my younger years it was really hard for me to differentiate the difference between being compassionate and being naive.
I still do believe that there is good in everyone, but I’ve come to understand that what my mother meant about me being too trusting wasn’t that trust in itself was a negative thing, or that I shouldn’t open my heart to loving people; no, she meant that I shouldn’t leave my heart exposed to the elements of my environment, which is the harshness of society.
The Bible says that the hearts of men are desperately wicked (Jer.17:9), and that to me means that man is capable of doing anything, after all look at what they did to Jesus, who was completely innocent and without fault.
Hurt people, hurt people; sometimes even without the intention to. It’s important to recognize that everyone doesn’t have pure motives when they come into your life, and although that doesn’t mean you have to shut people out and live on defense your entire life, it’s important to live with a good offense.
The Bible also cautions us to Guard our Hearts. Everything that you are lies in that hollow cavity protected by your ribcage. Be careful who you let get close to your heart. I truly believe now, after much disappointment and blows to my heart that sometimes cracked it and other times completely shattered some parts of it, that people can’t break our heart if we don’t put it in their hands.
Of course, sometimes there will be situations of betrayal that is never expected and when those situations come along we are going to have to put all our trust in the knowledge that we serve a God who is more than enough for us, in order to experience healing.
In retrospection, I realize that this is one of the many lessons I learnt in 2017. And no, it wasn’t because I got heart-broken or anything like that, 2017 was actually the best year of my life so far. However, it wasn’t until I was in the place of freedom during that year, with fewer burdens than I’ve ever had – (I actually don’t think the burdens were fewer, I just learnt how to cast them upon Jesus so the load felt much lighter) – that I was finally able to learn this lesson; my eyes were alert and the fog in my mind had been lifted and clarity brought that lesson to me.
Sidenote: Confession brings Clarity! (Y’all will hear more about this later.)
Take care of your heart, friends. The safe guarding of your heart and everything that lies within the grasp of its being is your responsibility. It needs you just as much as you need it. Stop leaving yourself vulnerable to the forces of this world because they will slowly corrode your strength, until you have nothing left.
Make a determination to be Heart Healthy for 2018.
I look forward to growing along with you all, Love Keela.
Everyday for the month of January I will be posting a new resolution on my Instagram page, follow me @keelaschronicles. I have decided to use all the lessons that the clarity of 2017 brought to me as a resolution list for all my followers; the things I’ve learnt that my heart yearns for all of you to learn as well. 2018 is about to be LIT!!