It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay

As many of you would know, I haven’t posted in a long time. And by a long time I don’t just mean a few months, it’s probably been closer to a year and a half since I last made a blog post.

When I first decided to give blogging a break it was intended to just be for a few months while I was working on a project (more details on that later) but then after a while it almost seemed like it was going to be an indefinite decision. At first it seemed that no one noticed – none of my friends asked about it or even my family for that matter so I felt like nobody cared whether it not I was doing it which made me question what the point was.

After a couple months though I started getting messages from random persons asking when I was going to upload another post or lamenting on how much the blog meant to them and has helped them in their own life. By that stage though, I had almost completely given up hope of writing again. See I was kind of in a bad place in my life, I started questioning the meaning of things around me and my purpose on earth.

Let me just say there is no greater feeling of desolation than when one knows not his reason for existing.

For a while I was so concerned about what others thought and whether my efforts were of any good to others that I forgot how much writing helped me personally. I forgot how good it felt to write and how in the process I was also able to counsel myself.

I questioned whether God was the one who really have me the inspiration to start this blog in the first place and not because the content wasn’t real or because it was too hard and out of my comfort zone but more so because I wasn’t getting the response from people that I expected to get.

Over the past few weeks though I’ve been doing some “soul searching” and really delving into the scripture to see what the Holy Spirit reveals to me about the topic of purpose and calling and what I’ve realized is that the reward of walking in calling isn’t recognition but relationship.

That doing what God calls you to do shouldn’t be a way to get famous or to have people speak highly about you, but rather should be the way that you allow yourself to get closer to God. And that’s exactly what I experienced while writing this blog, a closeness to God that I hadn’t felt before because in many ways I was allowing him to use the gift he gave me in writing in conjunction with my passion for helping people as a way to share and serve others – even if that “other” person was me.

So my encouragement for all who reads this to forget about the crowd, forget about the approval of others and do what you truly feel God has called you to do. Because even if it doesn’t impact the persons closest to you like you hope it will, just like those random people that have been blessed by this blog you may touch other persons that you don’t know, have never met and may never meet. Even more profoundly you may end up connecting to a God in a way that you couldn’t before.

Published by Keela's Chronicles

Hey there, my name is Jann - affectionately known as Keela, hence "Keela's Chronicles". The first thing I should probably tell you about me is that I really love Jesus! I am a wife, daughter, sister and minister (I don't mean pastor - but a minister of the gospel). I started journaling when I was 14 years old and honestly it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Later in life I decided that I would make my journaling public so I started a blog. One of my biggest beliefs when it comes to ministry and christianity is transparency. I believe that in order to affect a life with the gospel, as a christian I need to show that persons how the gospel actively affects and changes my life. So I decided to use my experiences in both the physical and spiritual realms to encourage and inspire others while I'm going through the experiences, and not simply as an afterthought. I have a passion for writing, and inspiring others, especially young women of faith. My hope and desire is that as you read my posts you will feel blessed, motivated and truly inspired to be the best version of yourself in Christ, knowing that you are not alone.

3 thoughts on “It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay

  1. So true, Keela. We have all been placed on earth, by God, for a purpose. He wants us to please him and to really spend time with him. It is so easy to get caught in people pleasing (impossible to please people), rather than pleasing God. Glad you are back to fulfilling your writing gift!

    Liked by 1 person

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