Pressured to be Perfect

Don’t be so focused on the popularity of the gift that you forget the purpose of the gift.

I was just like that at one point. I knew that God had blessed me with certain gifts and I was looking on social media and even at the lives of people around me and was seeing how well they made their gifts work for them and I wanted to be in that position. I didn’t realize it until recently but pride was my motivation and I had become envious of the seemingly successful ministers around me.

There are two things most of us have all experienced in life; first, giving advice that’s hard to take ourselves, and secondly, getting advice from someone else who isn’t doing what they’re telling you to do.

For a long time I struggled with that first one. For as long as I’ve known myself people have always told me that I have an “old soul”. When I was in high school I was essentially the “mommy” of all my classes. I was the one always trying to steer everyone to doing the “right thing”, I was the one so many came to for advice and help with personal situations even though they knew I had no personal experience with the problems they were facing. I was giving relationship advice even before I had ever had a relationship myself lol.

I would be lying if I said that it didn’t make me feel good that those around me valued my opinion that much and trusted my judgement enough to ask me such serious and personal questions. On the one hand it made me feel proud, but it was also a lot of pressure.

I felt like I was living my life for others, and because of the opinions of others, and trying to be a good example so that others wouldn’t suffer from my failures. I literally felt as though if I was caught in a mess up, it would cause others to mess up as well. I’ve been saved since I was 12 years old, and for as long as I can remmeber people have always been telling me how tthey see the anointing of God upon my life, that I have the gift of being a leader and a worshiper.

Initially I was thrilled. Excited at the fact the the Sovereign and mighty God, wanted to use little ole’ me to do things for His Kingdom. Everybody makes it seem like the best thing that could happen to any person, and I don’t despute that at all. Being used for God is the only useful thing that I have going in my life.

What they don’t tell you is how difficult it is. How your life changes drastically. How everyone analyses all of your decisions through the filter of a microscope. How minor things are made to be big deals and how mere disagreements are seen as rebelion.

That’s the Pressure of Being Gifted.

I always had the desire to do great things for God, but I never realized at what cost I would have to do them.

I’m not saying this to excuse anything that I’ve done that wasn’t right, or to brag about the fact that I think the Lord’s hands are upon my life. No!

What I’m trying to say is that there is an opportunity cost to everything in life. And the truth of the matter is that if you’re in a position of leadership there is always going to be someone looking up to. But, that’s something that you’re just going to have to deal with.

The alternative would be forsaking your purpose for fear of messing up or hurting others. Living your life for others isn’t worth it.

What I can say though, in my own experience, is that because I knew that there were eyes on me, it made me second guess ceratin decisions. So some of the things that people I knew would have done that caused devastation in their lives, I never did because the knowledge of being “watched” made me think twice. And in the end I made good decisions because of it.

Don’t envy where you are, or covet where someone else is. Appreciate your space and place in life because where you are is where God wants you to be. Accept each situation and learn to see the silver lining, and remember God causes everything to work out for the GOOD of those who love and fear him.

Live Positively Chroniclers! Love you all ❤ ❤ ❤.

Published by Keela's Chronicles

Hey there, my name is Jann - affectionately known as Keela, hence "Keela's Chronicles". The first thing I should probably tell you about me is that I really love Jesus! I am a wife, daughter, sister and minister (I don't mean pastor - but a minister of the gospel). I started journaling when I was 14 years old and honestly it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Later in life I decided that I would make my journaling public so I started a blog. One of my biggest beliefs when it comes to ministry and christianity is transparency. I believe that in order to affect a life with the gospel, as a christian I need to show that persons how the gospel actively affects and changes my life. So I decided to use my experiences in both the physical and spiritual realms to encourage and inspire others while I'm going through the experiences, and not simply as an afterthought. I have a passion for writing, and inspiring others, especially young women of faith. My hope and desire is that as you read my posts you will feel blessed, motivated and truly inspired to be the best version of yourself in Christ, knowing that you are not alone.

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